Ranking: The Worst Parts About Washing Dishes

Washing dishes is in contention for being the worst chore. There’s no way anybody on this planet enjoys doing it. If you stand there long enough you’re bound to get a back spasm, water spots on your shirt and pruned fingers. Thankfully, someone was smart enough to make a machine that cuts out a large portion of this awful experience, however sometimes you have to roll up your sleeves and put some elbow grease into it. Disposable dishes are also a godsend but when you can’t be lazy your hands are forced, literally.

Long known for abusing the powers of the dishwasher in my dwelling, for some unknown reason, I’ve reverted back to doing dishes manually. Why? I’m not sure. I think I came to the conclusion that my household doesn’t use enough dishes each day to justify running a half-full dishwasher each day. Leaving them in there for more than one day leaves the potential for a rotten odor so alas, manual labor.

1. Full sink of dishes

Pure dread. You try to calculate in your mind where to start and how long this is going to take you.

Leaning too close to sink and water gets on your shirt

You’re focused on the task at hand. You’re as close to the action as the counter allows you but you got too close. You haven’t realized it yet but once you take a step back you’re going to figure out what really happened. You might as well have just reflected the water off the spoon like the sun in the mirror.

2. Spoon splashback

It’s a fire hydrant that just got unleashed and your shirt is in it’s way. Nothing is more infuriating than this because you know better. Turn the water pressure down and point the spoon away from you at the bottom of the sink. But nooooo, you weren’t paying attention and now there’s a puddle on your shirt.

3. Garbage disposal splashback

You’re trying to drain some water from one side of the sink so you say “hey, let me flick this switch” but you forget that every time you do this, the other side reacts and spits out who the hell knows. Enjoy that cesspool of mushy crumbs that just landed on your cheek.

4. Food won’t come off

Not going to lie…sometimes I’ve just given up and said this will have to get taken care of later. You scrub and scrub and scrub yet something fried too long or the oil just doesn’t seem to want to come off. Trash. It’s all trash.

5. Clogged drain/something fell down garbage disposal

How about when the water is rising but you can’t use the garbage disposal yet because a stupid spoon slipped down the drain? Now the only way to release it is to reach down into the abyss and fish that stupid spoon out. So much fun! What’s even better?! When you didn’t realize that stupid spoon was down there and now your garbage disposal is making the most startling noise while you quickly try to turn it off.

6. Dropping an already washed utensil back into the sink.

You wash a utensil and it’s so clean that it looks like it has never been used and then whoops! Your clumsy ass accidentally misses the drying rack and you’re back at square one. Yeah you already cleaned it and probably could just rinse it under the faucet but I’m going to air on the side of caution and clean that s.o.b. like it’s the first time.

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